Stay Beautiful!
Easton in time out for hitting
Monday
Pool day with friends
Easton had his friends Ethan and Keira over yesterday for a pool day! They had lots of fun, my friend Sarah is their mom and we are always getting together to let the kids play. Kiera is the little girl that Easton has a vendetta against and is constantly picking fights with and Ethan was a victim the other day of my sons hitting. He is so much like his momma, I told my mom how is he with other kids and she said "the apple didn't fall far from that tree did it?" lol. I know it's true, I need to teach him how to be nice and not so intense. He thinks it's his way or the highway, because I understand his thinking so well I think I will be able to keep it under control. He was in time out a few times during his swim day for being mean, but all in all they all had fun! Boston sat in her bumbo in her pool, she loves the water and the outdoors! Both kids are sleeping so this will be sweet and short, this momma needs some alone time :)
Stay Beautiful!
Easton in time out for hitting
Stay Beautiful!
Easton in time out for hitting
Saturday
Pictures from the fourth of July and both the kids first time at the lake :)
Watching the fireworks, she LOVED them! They both had a great time for fourth of July and especially at the lake. Easton loves water so much, he ran into the water. I felt more safe having him in the float, he wanted to run free lol! 
Friday
one step at at time :)
The last few days have been rough trying to deal with the terrible twos, last night I saw some progress on my sons end. He is learning that screaming for everything will get him nothing, but to communicate will get him everything he wants. He is starting to use the word "please", "show" when he wants me to change the channel, and he is listening a little bit better than when I wrote my last post. I am so proud of him, I knew it was a faze which is why I called it "terrible twos", he needs to learn new ways of communication. To see this progress has made me so happy and I can tell he is proud of himself also. We still have lots of tantrums ahead of us, but as long as we are moving forward and I am consistent with my discipline I know things will start to get easier. My son is a very lovable boy, he loves his sister, and his mom and dad. He can be the sweetest most tender little guy, but unfortunately that all does away when terrible twos decide to take over. This is completely normal, I know it will pass, and I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It will always be a challenge, but I know that once he is able to communicate better a lot of the frustration will go away. This will make it easier for both of us, at least I will know what he wants and he will be able to tell me. That is a milestone I am so anxious for, we both need it! Please forgive me if I seemed rude with my last blog, I was very frustrated and I needed some kind of outlet so I decided to blog/vent. I never want anyone to think that I do not need or want their advice, that is not the case. I take constructive criticism very well and I love advice. Please feel free to comment at any time with advice or what ever you feel. As for me I am going to spend the rest of nap time watching Desperate Housewives, I have an addiction and I'm not afraid to admit it :)
Stay Beautiful
Stay Beautiful
Thursday
Terrible twos is getting the best of me.
My son is hitting, screaming, yelling, more screaming, not listening, refuses to communicate what he wants, more screaming, more hitting, tantrums all day!!!!!!!!!! It has literally pushed me to the edge the last couple of days, I try time out, when it's really bad he gets a swat to the bum, now as we speak I am trying putting him in his room until he can calm down and until I can also. I seriously don't know what to do with him right now, he is so hard headed and stubborn. I can't get anything through to him while he is having one of his tantrums, there is nothing but screaming and crying at the top of his lungs. He throws things, he starts fights with other kids, he literally flops on the floor like a fish out of water. Seriously this needs to let up very soon, when he gets spanked he beats himself up, he will punch himself repeatedly in the head, he will hit back violently, or it will just piss him off more. I took some advice and tried it, but honestly if your not the mother of my child you have no clue what your talking about. He is a lot like me, he has the worst attitude and when he is mad everyone pays for it. Spanking is out of the question, I've tried it, it got worse, he became violent, and it's not happening again. Time out seems to work the best, I just hate throwing him in time out a million times a day, but if it works then I guess I am going to have to. Letting him calm down in his room seems to help, he has stopped crying, and he wants some attention now. I guess I better go, wish me luck.
Stay Beautiful.
Stay Beautiful.
Sunday
The fall of my hero...
Anderson The Spider Silva lost his fight tonight, it looked like he lost the fight on purpose. He is exhausted, he is getting old, and he wants to be with his family.... This is devastating, such a sad night for me. He is my hero along with George St. Pierre. These fighters are like a drug to me, when I watch them fight I get so pumped up and I look up to them because I respect fighters especially champions. There is no one like Silva, he was born to fight, there will never be another like him. I feel like I lost one of my hero's and it hurts, I didn't know it would hurt this bad. I am a die hard fan of his and I believed in him even when others doubted him. It's amazing how you can grow so close to someone you have never even met. How the decision to end their career ends up changing your life also.... It's a very sad night for me, but I know that if he wanted to win that fight he would have. I know what he is capable of and I just wish I could have gone to a live fight or met him before he decided to throw it all away..... (long sigh.....)
Stay Beautiful.
Stay Beautiful.
Friday
Finding myself after all these years..
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?'
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne Williamson,
This is my ALL TIME favorite quote, this is so true. So many people including myself shrink around others so they will not feel insecure and attack you with jealousy. I forget this sometimes, I shrink constantly because I know people will attack. I am making a promise to myself not to do that anymore. For example I, just like nearly EVERY mother am proud of my children. I use to have a facebook and post that I thought my son was the most handsome, people did not like that. They automatically assumed that if they were to say their child was the cutest that I would be offended, not true at all. I know how it is to be a parent, when you look at a child that is half you and half the person you love, it is so hard not to think that baby is the most beautiful in the world. That does not mean other people cannot think the same, plenty of parents say that about their kids around me just to be defensive and prove a point. The only point they are proving around me is that they are insecure because of how proud I am of my children and that's on them, not me.
My son was the biggest boy, he is strong, taller than most kids his age, and above average as far as speech and strength. This is not an observation, this was told to me by his doctors since he was 1 week old. I do not feel like I need to shrink and not acknowledge these things just because they might make you feel inadequate or bad about yourself. Boston is also advanced in weight and strength, I couldn't be more proud of them and I will shout it from the roof tops because it's a beautiful thing! I have always had problems finding good people in my life who can be proud of me or happy for me instead of be jealous. I am slowly weeding those people out of my life (family or not) and keeping the right people in my life. I will no longer feel bad for being proud of myself for being the best mom I know how to be, raise my kids the best way I know how, and make sure my kids have the absolute best I can give them. I know now that the people who feel like they need to be in competition with me are the ones with the problem, not me.
This anxiety has been both a negative and a positive in my life. It has brought me to my knees, made me more vulnerable, and opened doors that I have never cared to open. This is one of those doors that I have opened to find a problem of mine that I will now deal with and fix. The friends and family who I communicate with and who I stay in contact with have specific traits. These people are happy with I am happy, they smile at my success and help me when I fail. They know that no matter what time, or what the situation, that I will always be there for them and I will give them the ugly truth out of love. These people know my intentions are good and understand that I don't go out of my way to post things about my life just to make them feel inadequate, they are not flakes, they are supportive and it's a give and take relationship. I thank the lord for people like this in my life, some people don't have many positive and healthy relationships in their circle of friends and family, but mine is growing.
Positivity is the only thing that will help me through the trials I have been facing lately. I have the strength to day by day make my life better or make my life some place I cannot stand to live in. I am choosing to be positive, to look at what I have now that I didn't have growing up. The things I have now that as a child I never thought I would have. I never dreamed of having such a wonderful husband because I never believed in love. I never believed I would have children because I wanted it so much, I thought it was just a dream. I never thought that I would have friends worth more than gold, but I do now. I am focusing on what is worth fighting for, I am growing each day. We all have things to learn and mountains to climb. I am so thankful to be blessed with another day to be able to work towards my goals. One day I woke up, I was an adult, married, with two kids, and a whole closet full of issues I need to work through from my past. Things that have effected me in so many ways, they have molded the stubborn person I am today, and they have taught me to believe in nobody, that love is a lie, and that everyone is out to hurt me.
I refuse to live that way anymore, life has changed so why shouldn't I? I am no longer stuck in a nightmare, no longer too young to have any control over the changes in my life. From now on I will remember the power I do have over my life and choose to move forward. Not build a wall over my heart and emotions and pretend to move forward when mentally and emotionally I am stuck in the darkness of my memories. I want to truly be mentally and emotionally healthy and pass that healthy way of living onto my children. I am a soldier, I am a fighter, I am a force to be recond with, I am a daughter of God, and I have been through some of the hardest times in my life, they are over and I am ready to focus on the fact that I made it out without falling into addictions like so many who grew up like I did. I wear heels, I wear make up, I dress girly, and I have class. Don't let my facade fool you, there was a time I wasn't sure if I would make it through the night safely. I am physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually stronger than you know. From now on I will not hide it, I will let it shine and if people don't like it, if they feel inadequate, then maybe they need to find themselves like I have.
Stay beautiful and make sure the world knows just how beautiful you are!
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?'
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne Williamson,
This is my ALL TIME favorite quote, this is so true. So many people including myself shrink around others so they will not feel insecure and attack you with jealousy. I forget this sometimes, I shrink constantly because I know people will attack. I am making a promise to myself not to do that anymore. For example I, just like nearly EVERY mother am proud of my children. I use to have a facebook and post that I thought my son was the most handsome, people did not like that. They automatically assumed that if they were to say their child was the cutest that I would be offended, not true at all. I know how it is to be a parent, when you look at a child that is half you and half the person you love, it is so hard not to think that baby is the most beautiful in the world. That does not mean other people cannot think the same, plenty of parents say that about their kids around me just to be defensive and prove a point. The only point they are proving around me is that they are insecure because of how proud I am of my children and that's on them, not me.
My son was the biggest boy, he is strong, taller than most kids his age, and above average as far as speech and strength. This is not an observation, this was told to me by his doctors since he was 1 week old. I do not feel like I need to shrink and not acknowledge these things just because they might make you feel inadequate or bad about yourself. Boston is also advanced in weight and strength, I couldn't be more proud of them and I will shout it from the roof tops because it's a beautiful thing! I have always had problems finding good people in my life who can be proud of me or happy for me instead of be jealous. I am slowly weeding those people out of my life (family or not) and keeping the right people in my life. I will no longer feel bad for being proud of myself for being the best mom I know how to be, raise my kids the best way I know how, and make sure my kids have the absolute best I can give them. I know now that the people who feel like they need to be in competition with me are the ones with the problem, not me.
This anxiety has been both a negative and a positive in my life. It has brought me to my knees, made me more vulnerable, and opened doors that I have never cared to open. This is one of those doors that I have opened to find a problem of mine that I will now deal with and fix. The friends and family who I communicate with and who I stay in contact with have specific traits. These people are happy with I am happy, they smile at my success and help me when I fail. They know that no matter what time, or what the situation, that I will always be there for them and I will give them the ugly truth out of love. These people know my intentions are good and understand that I don't go out of my way to post things about my life just to make them feel inadequate, they are not flakes, they are supportive and it's a give and take relationship. I thank the lord for people like this in my life, some people don't have many positive and healthy relationships in their circle of friends and family, but mine is growing.
Positivity is the only thing that will help me through the trials I have been facing lately. I have the strength to day by day make my life better or make my life some place I cannot stand to live in. I am choosing to be positive, to look at what I have now that I didn't have growing up. The things I have now that as a child I never thought I would have. I never dreamed of having such a wonderful husband because I never believed in love. I never believed I would have children because I wanted it so much, I thought it was just a dream. I never thought that I would have friends worth more than gold, but I do now. I am focusing on what is worth fighting for, I am growing each day. We all have things to learn and mountains to climb. I am so thankful to be blessed with another day to be able to work towards my goals. One day I woke up, I was an adult, married, with two kids, and a whole closet full of issues I need to work through from my past. Things that have effected me in so many ways, they have molded the stubborn person I am today, and they have taught me to believe in nobody, that love is a lie, and that everyone is out to hurt me.
I refuse to live that way anymore, life has changed so why shouldn't I? I am no longer stuck in a nightmare, no longer too young to have any control over the changes in my life. From now on I will remember the power I do have over my life and choose to move forward. Not build a wall over my heart and emotions and pretend to move forward when mentally and emotionally I am stuck in the darkness of my memories. I want to truly be mentally and emotionally healthy and pass that healthy way of living onto my children. I am a soldier, I am a fighter, I am a force to be recond with, I am a daughter of God, and I have been through some of the hardest times in my life, they are over and I am ready to focus on the fact that I made it out without falling into addictions like so many who grew up like I did. I wear heels, I wear make up, I dress girly, and I have class. Don't let my facade fool you, there was a time I wasn't sure if I would make it through the night safely. I am physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually stronger than you know. From now on I will not hide it, I will let it shine and if people don't like it, if they feel inadequate, then maybe they need to find themselves like I have.
Stay beautiful and make sure the world knows just how beautiful you are!
Wednesday
Happy Independence Day everyone!!!
We did Bostons 3 month pictures yesterday, today we had a pool day as long as I could stand being outside. It was uncontrollably hot today, I am soooooo glad that I planned Easton's birthday indoors this year, GO ME!
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